My Murderer : Any last words?
Me: Hey Alexa, play africa by Toto.
my party trick is wearing cool socks so people come up to me and say “hey man cool socks”
i used to be passive aggressive, but now i’m aggressively passive. don’t mess with me kiddo. i’ll be right here. i’ll fucking forgive you
“Hey ben cool binder.”
“Hey ben, wanna come over to my house today?!”
Kylo narrating: They all hated me
*opens a new incognito tab to ask a really dumb question that i don’t want in my search history*
“is stuart little a real person”
i just heard someone out in the hallway go “omae wa mo shinderu” and then someone screamed “NO!!!” and there was a loud smack